If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
