Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
