You can't special order awesome
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
