he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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