Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
