I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You're like the curious george of whores
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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