I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
