Nicole vs. Life
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
