where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
