Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
