I'd wear matching sweaters with you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
