She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
