Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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