How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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