$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize