Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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