The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
