ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize