i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
