I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
