I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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