This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
