i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
