I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
