I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
