you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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