I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he fucked my hip out of place.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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