Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
