i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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