I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
His nipple licking is glorious
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