We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
