i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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