haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just invented taco cereal.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
