Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
