he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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