i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
