quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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