Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
