he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
