Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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