when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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