I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
