..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
