dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
