i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
