all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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