He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
