doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
