We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize