do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
