I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
