you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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