Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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