Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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