Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
