you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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